Location: Forest Town, California, United States

Many people ask where Helga and I (Vinnie) met. It was at a Jesus Freak festival in the days of my squandered youth. Some brownies were going around that tasted funny and the next thing I know, I'm married to a hippie. But she was cute, and I wouldn't serve a church that hired a divorced pastor, so we are still together till Judgement Day, when I assume we will go our seperate ways. Let me (Helga) add, that it seems the Universe brought Vinnie and I together, who am I to argue. He does have a judgmental nature though, which I find unforgivable.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Fall Films to Avoid

Vinnie says:

People have been asking me, "Vinnie, what films in the fall of 2007 should I avoid?"

I always say, "Every single one of them because Mel is not making a film based on Scripture and Cecil B. DeMille is dead." But they still ask. So over the next few days my lovely, but utterly heathen wife, Helga will be telling you which ten films you should most avoid from the moral perspective.

My first film to avoid:

"The Golden Compass"

If you thought those pagan Narnia films were horrible with their magic and creatures that could only come to fruition through the unnatural union of humans and animals (Horse-men, goat-men, disgraceful) than you will truly hate this film that promotes more magic than a Harry Potter film. Even the anti-God press, Entertainment Weekly points out the film's blasphemy, noting "Clergymen who kidnap children. Witches who aren't wicked. Even a pair of sexually ambiguous angels." If you thought Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig had brought enought pain and suffering in the world this summer with "The Invasion", that was nothing compared to this film. They pretended that aliens would take over people's life in that film, but this film will lead to demons to take over actual children. This film will be high on my list of film not only to boycott but also protest.

Helga says to skip:

"I Am Legend"

"The last man on earth, is not alone!" This time the last man on Earth is Will Smith. Before the last man on Earth was Charlton Heston. Before the last man on Earth was Vincent Price. Notice a pattern here? Why is it never the last Womyn on Earth? Typical science fiction male chavinism. Dramatically, I guess it makes sense, a womyn alone on the planet could get along just fine, thank you very much. But these films always make it seem like getting rid of all the men on the planet would be a BAD thing. I'm not sure Mother Earth agrees.


Blogger Lea Date said...

Helga's right...I think. Why no films with "the last woman on earth"?

Or are there such films? Maybe Helga's just a little...ignorant?

8:42 AM  

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