Location: Forest Town, California, United States

Many people ask where Helga and I (Vinnie) met. It was at a Jesus Freak festival in the days of my squandered youth. Some brownies were going around that tasted funny and the next thing I know, I'm married to a hippie. But she was cute, and I wouldn't serve a church that hired a divorced pastor, so we are still together till Judgement Day, when I assume we will go our seperate ways. Let me (Helga) add, that it seems the Universe brought Vinnie and I together, who am I to argue. He does have a judgmental nature though, which I find unforgivable.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Top Ten Fall Films of 2007 to Avoid

Helga here:

My next film to avoid is "Alvin and the Chipmunks". I know what some of you are saying, "Surely Helga, this film is harmless! No animals were harmed in its making, they're computer generated!"
Sure, just as the previous incarnation used animation. But do you think the images of clothes wearing chipmunks come purely from the imagination? I'm afraid not. I have it on an impeccable authourity that in order to make the cartoon, real chipmunks were dressed in clothing to serve as models. And certain surgical procedures were needed so that their voices would have that high pitch.
Now I don't know if such models were used for this new film, but even if they didn't, what is to keep little kids who see the film from thinking "I want have my own pet chipmunk and put it in clothes and have it sing annoying Christmas carols." It will be worse than the annual Easter bunny adopted and abandoned plague.
This film stars Jason Lee as David Seville, the companion (owner? father? parmour?) of the poor little creatures (Alvin, Simon and Theodore). Wasn't it bad enough that Lee ruined many happy childhood memories voicing Underdog this summer?

I see no good karma coming from viewing this film.


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