Location: Forest Town, California, United States

Many people ask where Helga and I (Vinnie) met. It was at a Jesus Freak festival in the days of my squandered youth. Some brownies were going around that tasted funny and the next thing I know, I'm married to a hippie. But she was cute, and I wouldn't serve a church that hired a divorced pastor, so we are still together till Judgement Day, when I assume we will go our seperate ways. Let me (Helga) add, that it seems the Universe brought Vinnie and I together, who am I to argue. He does have a judgmental nature though, which I find unforgivable.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Top Ten Films to Avoid in the Fall of 2007 Continued:

Vinton says - Don't see "Fred Claus"

Now no one appreciates a good laugh in a suitable time at an acceptable time more than I do. My sermons often begin with a humorous little story that mocks the theological ignorance of children. And I will even admit there are times I have chuckled at comical moments on the silver screen. For instance, I remember being convulsed with laughter watching Tim Conway in 1977's "Billion Dollar Hobo". Now I wouldn't recommend your trying to locate this film because that was a long time ago and it may have had objectionable material I can't currently recall. I was also amused by many films with that comic genius Dean Jones (in the films made by Disney before they began to allow patrons with obsence and pink t-shirts into their parks.)

But most screen comedies these days try to get laughs at the expense of body parts and functions God obviously wanted hidden or He wouldn't have provided Adam and Eve with furs (sorry, Helga, it's right there in Genesis.)

Now I understand they're going to market this film for "families". But if that is so why isn't it G? No, it is PG which means it has the usual Hollywood debauchery that "parents" are supposed to "guide" there children through.

Plus this film is part of the Santa Claus cult trying to steal the Christ out of Christmas and replace it with an X. And we all know what an X means in Hollywood. (Actually, I would expect these days the folks on the left coast to call the day NC17mas.)

Worse yet, Santa is played by Paul Giamatti, yes the same man who starred in Sideways, the salute to drunkeness. Is Santa going to be filling he stockings with Boone's Farm products?

And the title character is played by Vince Vaughn who I understand played a "Swinger".

Two more words of warning, no make it four, "Frank Stallone: as himself".

I don't think I need to say anymore except to remind you that the opening anecdote taken from Reader's Digest at the beginning of a sermon is all the funny you really need.


Post a Comment

<< Home