Location: Forest Town, California, United States

Many people ask where Helga and I (Vinnie) met. It was at a Jesus Freak festival in the days of my squandered youth. Some brownies were going around that tasted funny and the next thing I know, I'm married to a hippie. But she was cute, and I wouldn't serve a church that hired a divorced pastor, so we are still together till Judgement Day, when I assume we will go our seperate ways. Let me (Helga) add, that it seems the Universe brought Vinnie and I together, who am I to argue. He does have a judgmental nature though, which I find unforgivable.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Vinnie here, I know it has been awhile (well, not so long for those who subscribe to the podcasts of my sermons, you fortunate ones know who you are), but Helga and I have been fortunate enough to avoid many of the recent Hollywood abominations (since they're started locking the back door again at the Elm Street Theater.)
But unfortunately, believe it or not, parents of children were considering seeing a film by the name of MONSTER HOUSE, so I told them I would preview it for them.
Now one would think that the name of the film itself would discourage parents from taking young ones, as it accurately indicate involvement in scary creatures, the occult and spirtualism. Of course, many parents didn't take the hint from the titles, THE CORPSE BRIDE or THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
If you are one of those parents with problems of discrimination, let me give you a clue: the words Massacre or Dead in a title (as in TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE or DAWN OF THE DEATH) indicate we are not dealing with Sunday School material, and Monster doesn't either.
Now I wish the indoctination into the supernatural (which will likely lead to the tarot cards then palm reading straight to Satanic worship and human sacrifice) was the only problem with this film, but it isn't.
There is also a flagrant disrepect of property rights. Why is it that an old man who tells kids to stay off his lawn always an object of ridicule in popular culture these days, in my book, he is a hero.
The founding fathers of America were quite concerned with property rights, and the minute men did not bleed and die so young squirts could ride their bikes and trikes all over private lawns, let alone teens leaving their beer bottles.
So I must say that little ones may be frightened by this film, but any right thinking American who was horrified by the Supreme Courts recent Kelo/New London decision with be even more scared.
So again I say, skip this film, a good sermon is all the fun you need.

Helga here,
I would have to agree with Vinnie that film is too frightening for young ones. Why do they make horror films for wee ones? Surely, they could make films for pre-adults with more positive things, such as ponies and rainbows and lessons on proper composting.
But when I found out that the film was about a wooden house that seeks to avenge, I thought it might have some good things to say. Certainly we all can agree that trees are sentenent creatures that reason and feel pain just like you and me. And why wouldn't the wood from those trees seek to teach a painful lesson to the carpenters, contractors and especially lumberjacks that ended their peaceful life in the forest. Sadly, the film does not take that direction.
Also, the film again portrays Halloween as a holiday just about gathering candy (to rot teeth and line the pockets of industrial "food" mercendisers) rather than as a celebration of our Druid heritage.
So I must agree with Vinnie that you must skip this film, even if you just want to avoid the heat in the air conditioning. You must face the heat and let it remind you to fight global warming as you fight sexism, speciesism and rightwing talk radio. Till later, harmonically balanced and yours, Helga


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