Location: Forest Town, California, United States

Many people ask where Helga and I (Vinnie) met. It was at a Jesus Freak festival in the days of my squandered youth. Some brownies were going around that tasted funny and the next thing I know, I'm married to a hippie. But she was cute, and I wouldn't serve a church that hired a divorced pastor, so we are still together till Judgement Day, when I assume we will go our seperate ways. Let me (Helga) add, that it seems the Universe brought Vinnie and I together, who am I to argue. He does have a judgmental nature though, which I find unforgivable.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Helga with this week's movie to avoid:

"Awake" opens this week and I urge you, if you care about the Earth,to avoid this film. The film stars Hayden Christensen (you may remember him as the boy who would not stop whining in Star Wars II & III, part of that sci-fi salute to facism) as a very rich capitalist who goes into surgury (heart surgury, not for lava related injuries). But during surgury he suffers from "anethetic awareness" meaning he finds himself awake but paralyzed. Rather like when I drink too much coffee before sitting through one of Vinton's sermons.
This film will encourage the use of more anesthetics which will further enhance the evil phamichutical industries which will continue to make things more difficult for the independent herb and "herb" growers.
The film also stars Jessica Alba. Need I say anything about the proven link between Alba and the onslaught of eating disorders in this country?
And Christopher McDonald plays a doctor. This may be the one good thing about the film because the portrayal of a doctor by "Shooter" from "Happy Gilmore" may finally lead to realization that this country needs socialized medicine. For all her faults, Hillary would never let such a thing happen.
So I say, be could to our Mother Nature and skip this film.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Vinton warns:

My upcoming film to avoid, The Mist. Written by well known Satanist, Stephen King, the film is about a fog that forces people into a super market in Maine wherein they argue about whether or not to go to their cars. Now from the ads I've seen, the perfectablely reasonable character who argues that this is the wrath of God is mocked and derided by the film makers. I don't think anyone would argue with her if it was a killer fog coming in on San Francisco.
This film is directed by Frank Darabont who also directed King's Shawshank Redemption in which there was no Biblical redemption that I could see, not a single person read the Four Spiritual Laws.
It "stars" Thomas Jane, as if anyone knows who that is. (A young person in the church told me he played "The Punisher" which he said was like one of the Judges from Judges, but aside from that I know nothing positive him.) I didn't recognize any of the rest of the class, though I believe an African fellow in the film used to be in a television show about policemen.
So another anti-Christian, pro-Satan film, and again I say a good sermon is all the fun you need.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Films to Avoid Next Weekend

Helga says:

It would be very bad for your Karma to attend "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium". I'm sure you are, like me, already excited for the upcoming Holidays, by which I mean the Winter soltice. But I get so sad when children are making their soltice Christmas lists. Instead of asking for donations to progressive charities and clothing made from non-species oppressing materials, so many children ask for toys. And this film could only increase that kind of materialism. Also, this film simply frightens me. Dustin Hoffman in the trailers and promotional still does not compare favorably to Jigsaw in the Saw trailers and promotional stills. Natalie Portman should not be allowed in films again until there is justice for full sized women. And Jason Bateman is in the film and his television program Arrested Developement was not at all politcally correct. And the magic of the film is not of the wholistic Wicca variety.

Monday, November 05, 2007

New Feature - Movies to Avoid Next Weekend

I must first of all apologize for the tardy nature of our posts; Helga and I have been busy with many activities and have failed to regularly post warnings about the abominations at your local sinaplex. We are going to attempt this new feature of warning you of films to especially avoid in the upcoming weekend.

Things to avoid the weekend of Nov. 8 - 10

Helga says - avoid Lions for Lambs

Now I'm sure Robert Redford had the best of intentions when he made this film. It is a film made to condemn the Bush adminstration (obviously the worse adminstration in world history, let alone of the United States) and their immoral "War on Terror". But he went about it in absolutely the wrong way. Tom Cruise plays a senator who mouths the right wing lies defending the heinous US wars in the Middle East, arguing with Meryl Streep playing a reporter who speaks THE TRUTH TO POWER. Now I'm sure the arguments put forward by Cruise have no merit whatsoever, but should we take the risk some unimformed budding neo-cons in the audience might believe what he says? I believe debate is greatly over rated. I believe the film should been structured with Redford, Streep and Cruise speaking straight to the camera telling the audience that the US policy is evil and the people of Iraq and Afganistan would be much better off with the Taliban and Sadam in power, rather than racist, sexist, violent Americans. It would just make everything more clear.

Vintor says avoid Southland Tales
Fortunately, this film should be easy to avoid since the interweb says it is going into limited release. Still, this sure abomination from writer/directer Richard Kelly (of Danny Darko infamy) should be shunned if one should have an opportunity to see it. It seems to be a confusing end of the world type of tale. Why should anyone have any confusion about the end of the world when everything is made so perfectly clear as in the book of Revelation and the second half of Daniel? Plus it stars The Rock and do we really want anymore stars from the WWF? It also stars Sarah Michelle Geller as a porn star who wants to start a reality TV show. (As if there was a difference between porn and reality TV.) I could not make heads or tales of the plot discreption, so needless to say in the world of Hollywood, drugs must have been involved. So once again I say, a good sermon is all the fun you need.